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Showing posts with label Pearly Gates. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pearly Gates. Show all posts
Jul 6, 2009
Jul 1, 2009
Solution!
When Michael Jackson went to heaven, he was black as he was born.
Baffled, he asked God if there was a way to whiten him... Next thing he hears is: "HI I'M BILLY MAYS WITH OXYCLEAN!"
Baffled, he asked God if there was a way to whiten him... Next thing he hears is: "HI I'M BILLY MAYS WITH OXYCLEAN!"
Last resource
Michael Jackson realized he was going to have to face Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates.
So having little to no options, he decided to hit Billy Mays in the head and get the best salesman he could for the job.
Jun 29, 2009
Farrah, Ed & Michael
Michael Jackson, Ed McMahon, and Farrah Fawcet arrive at the Pearly Gates. St.Peter welcomes them warmly, and asks them if there was anyone in Heaven they'd like to see first.
Ed McMahon tells St. Peter that he really misses his old friend, Johnny Carson. "Heeerreee's Johnny", says St. Peter, and the old friends are together again.
Farrah speaks up next and tells St. Peter that she really misses her sister, and they too are reunited moments later.
"How about you Michael, who would you most like to spend time with on your first day in Heaven?"
Michael pauses for a moment and says, "Now, where's that Lindbergh baby?"
Ed McMahon tells St. Peter that he really misses his old friend, Johnny Carson. "Heeerreee's Johnny", says St. Peter, and the old friends are together again.
Farrah speaks up next and tells St. Peter that she really misses her sister, and they too are reunited moments later.
"How about you Michael, who would you most like to spend time with on your first day in Heaven?"
Michael pauses for a moment and says, "Now, where's that Lindbergh baby?"
Jun 28, 2009
He knows better
Michael Jackson gets to heaven and he meets God.
God, upon seeing him, says "Come to me, my child".
MJ thinks, "I know where this is heading..."
God, upon seeing him, says "Come to me, my child".
MJ thinks, "I know where this is heading..."
(thanks Mountbatten BLAMMO)
Jun 27, 2009
Final battle
Michael Jackson died and went to heaven, St. Peter says, "you know Michael , we really can’t let you in here, you did a lot of bad things down on earth". Michael pleads with St. Peter to let him in and states that he’ll do anything to get in, not wanting to go to hell and all.
St. Peter agrees to ask God if there is anything they can do, God tells St. Peter he’ll let Michael into heaven on one condition, he’ll have to fight someone and if he wins they’ll admit him. Michael agrees seeing its his only option.
The pearly gates open and and Elvis walks out shouting, “where is that weird son of a bitch that married my daughter?”
St. Peter agrees to ask God if there is anything they can do, God tells St. Peter he’ll let Michael into heaven on one condition, he’ll have to fight someone and if he wins they’ll admit him. Michael agrees seeing its his only option.
The pearly gates open and and Elvis walks out shouting, “where is that weird son of a bitch that married my daughter?”
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